Letter from a Ghost
by Orange Bulldog
Summary: Alex has been in protection for a year, and there's something she needs to tell Olivia. Reposted after some editing.


Disclaimers:

These are obviously not my characters, I'm just borrowing them from NBC and anyone else who owns them.

If you have issues with people of the same sex loving each other, or live someplace where that's illegal (in which case, consider moving) please move on.

Pairing: Olivia/Alex

Rating: PG

* * *

Olivia rested her head on her hand, staring at a file in front of her but not reading a word. Her eyes kept drifting over to a day calendar on her desk, the date burning into her mind like fire.

"Liv?"

Her head jerked up at the sound of Elliot's voice.

"You okay?" He obviously didn't remember. "Sorry I'm late, Kathleen was…seriously Liv, you don't look so hot." He said bluntly.

Olivia rubbed her eyes and opened them to focus on the calendar again. "A year, Elliot." She said quietly. "It's been a year."

He looked puzzled for a moment, and followed her gaze to the date. A year, a year…Alex. "This is the date she was shot?" he asked, leaning against her desk. A nod confirmed his suspicions.

* * *

One week later, Olivia returned home, her feet dragging and aching to be put up. At least it had been a good ending to the day; they'd finally found the bastard, holed up in a dingy storage room with the seven-year-old girl he'd kidnapped and raped. The child was safely back with her parents, though likely scarred for life, and the molester was in custody awaiting arraignment tomorrow. Novak had assured them it was a rock-solid case. Olivia grudgingly admitted to herself that the new (ha, new, she'd been around for more than a year!) ADA knew her stuff. Olivia had even found recently that she liked the redhead, it was just…she wasn't Alex.

She sighed, and reached into her mailbox.

"Junk, junk, bill, gee I could be a winner? ha, junk…hmm." She paused, looking at a nondescript envelope with her name and address printed on it, but no return. Curious, but aching feet demanding release, she tucked the mail under her arm and headed up.

Once inside, she plopped on the couch, tossed the rest of the mail aside, and slid her finger under the envelope's edge. She pulled out two sheets of paper, the outer of which was blank. Even more curious, she set it aside and looked at the second sheet. Her hand trembled and she almost dropped it. She'd recognize that handwriting anywhere.

"Alex?" the word whispered past her lips. She began to read.

_Dearest Olivia,_

_I'm sure you're shocked to be reading this, and yes it's a fairly large breach of protocol, but then so was insisting to see you before they took me away. I think they're getting sick of me, but I've made a friend on my detail and he promised to take this somewhere else to mail it so it couldn't be traced. So don't worry, though I'm sure you will anyway._

Olivia laughed while wiping at eyes that were watering despite her best efforts.

_Today is the year anniversary of my disappearance. I'm sure it was an unremarkable day for you, but to me it was a depressing sign that I'll probably live this new life forever. They say most witnesses never return to their old life. I'm coming to terms with that, but there's something I couldn't live without saying._

_Olivia, I'm in love with you. That may come as a shock to you, as we were only starting to dance around the topic before I had to leave. I don't even know for sure that you are interested in women, or if you knew that I was. I do know that the last time I saw you, I could see in your eyes that you might feel the same way._

I thought I was hiding it so well, Olivia thought, now not even trying to stop her crying.

_But this letter isn't about that. I may never see you again, so it's not about reciprocation. I'm not asking for anything. I just thought you should know. If I do ever see you again and you don't feel the same way, just pretend you never got the letter. I'll understand._

_I could write to you all day, but the realist in me says to stop before I get carried away. I hope that this letter finds you well and happy. I continue to hope against hope that I will one day return to New York and you. Until then, I remain,_

_Yours,_

_Alex_


End file.
